


Loneliness Be Over

by Youngpretenders



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: M/M, Potential trigger warning, Self Harm, focuses more on friendship idk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-02
Updated: 2013-08-02
Packaged: 2017-12-22 04:49:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/909114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Youngpretenders/pseuds/Youngpretenders
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gavin's addicted to the comfort of the blade.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Loneliness Be Over

**Author's Note:**

> I posted this on Tumblr a while back but I decided I'd rather have my stuff over on this site instead.  
> Please don't read this if you think you might be triggered by self harm!!  
> (nabbed the title from map of the problematique - muse)

Lines criss-crossed up his arm, some were angry red, others a faded silver. Long tops and hoodies hid his secret from prying eyes, even in the summer - the temporary relief and weightlessness he felt was well worth the sacrifice, and England never really got too hot in the summer, anyway.

He’d been doing it for years now; it started in secondary school when he was bullied for being different. Whereas most teenage boys liked sports and girls, he never really fit that mould, preferring to hole himself up in his room playing video games with strangers online, and he was never into girls, leading him to realize fairly early on that he was gay. The boys in his year didn't like that, and they let him know at every opportunity.

When he had no friends, the razor blade was there for him. It took the pain away, if only for a short while. He didn't enjoy the pain, but it gave him a buzz, and he felt that he deserved the pain for being different, wrong.

Once he left secondary school the bullying stopped. The cutting didn't. He eventually came to realize that there wasn't anything wrong with being gay or being interested in video games but any slight thing that went wrong or any negative thought, no matter how insignificant, led to a swipe of the blade, the cool metal soothing the itch and the ache to feel the pain.

He was in his twenties now, and though things were going his way – he somehow blagged himself a job at Achievement Hunter, playing video games for a living with a bunch of idiots as passionate about games as he was, he still couldn't kick the addiction to the blade. Summer in America was completely different to summer in England; wearing a long sleeved top in the scorching summer heat raised curious glances and a comment or two. He’d come up with some inane excuse, of course, although his heart would going a mile a minute as he panicked that someone would find out.

Whilst he wasn't ashamed of his sexual preferences, he wasn't sure how the guys in the office would take it, so he kept it to himself, afraid of secondary school repeating itself again. Slowly he started to develop feelings for a certain co-worker, Michael Jones. He didn't tell anyone, but as the two became closer and closer the rest of the guys would make ‘mavin’ jokes, playing it up for the internet, breaking Gavin’s heart in the process. One day they took it too far, a seemingly harmless comment hitting a little too close to home, and Gavin overreacted, which caught the attention of people in the office. Although the topic of discussion eventually changed, he beat himself up over it for an hour, keeping to himself doing some editing until lunch break, where he escaped to the toilet, blade stashed in his back pocket. So wrapped up in his thoughts, he didn't notice someone follow him.

Michael knew that something was wrong. The way Gavin kept to himself and always wore long sleeves, coming up with the most elaborate, stupid excuses as to why he did so. He followed Gavin to the bathroom, determined to find out what was wrong; he wanted to help his friend. What he found was Gavin sitting in a stall, not even closed the whole way, razor in hand, fresh marks made on his scarred arm, tears streaming down his face. Michael gasped, and Gavin whipped his head up, nervous that he’d been caught after keeping it a secret so long. He glanced up at Michael, and cast his head down again, ashamed.

“Please don’t hate me,” Gavin whispered brokenly, afraid that the guys would force him to quit for being such a fuck up. Michael sat down in front of Gavin, crossing his legs. “I could never hate you, you pleb,” he whispered sadly, horrified that Gavin could think so little of him, of them. He reached out towards Gavin and took the blade out of his hand, throwing it somewhere vaguely near the rubbish bin. He grasped Gavin’s hand in his own, careful not to touch the cuts – they didn't seem too deep, he hadn't had the chance before he was interrupted.

Michael didn't know what to say to fix the broken man sitting in front of him, and instead opted to place a light kiss on his arms, as cliché as it seemed. Gavin looked at him, confused. “This needs to stop, Gav,” Michael’s voice cracked, as if he was near tears himself. “You’re worth so much more than this,” he told him. Gavin shook his head, unbelieving, and wondering why Michael hadn't run away repulsed yet.

“I-I can’t stop,” Gavin whimpered, “I don’t know how,” he said forlornly.  
“Then let me help you.” Michael said firmly. A while passed, the two still sitting on the floor together, until Gavin eventually broke the silence. “Okay,” he whispered, “okay.”


End file.
